Unbelievable to me that my last chemotherapy infusion was 2 years ago on May 1st. I can stand for it and remember it with time but during the process, I was so depressed and sad. I did not know how to communicate or process what was happening to me so I just kind of sat and smiled and tried to be normal. This week, I do not feel well a big awesome vacation and overeating and it reminds me of the feelings during chemo. This is layering in some PTSD and also making me feel that I should be up and at ‘em just being so happy to not be on chemo.
But that being said, I am still so happy to not be undergoing chemotherapy though I am on a “chemo” pill with Ibrance clinical trial but I only have 42 pills left! So month 22 is done and I have month 23 and 24 left.
I have been vocal about sharing my story but lately, I have found myself writing less and less. I find myself so busy with enjoying life, making memories and being present in the moment that writing and sharing and creating Instagram and other social media posts is less and less important to me. It is sad because I do miss the community and the relationships I have built but in building these relationships, I have also built a nonprofit that provides real support and help for those dealing with life after a cancer diagnosis.
I get lost sometimes, myself and confused as to what I want to be or how I want to be with my nonprofit, my life, my plans and then I remember that I am just so damn grateful to have options, to be with my babies (who, to me, at 11 and 8 are still babies) and to figure out how to give back without giving away my soul, my peace of mind and my peace.
When I browse on Insta now, I see these amazing posts and I just feel like I do not have it in me to do it to prepare it – I spend so much of my time documenting my life with photos especially on my recent road trip, magical vacation but I was not compelled to post not even one. I posted on my stories though about , “If you take a great picture and do not post it to social media, is the picture still great?” I got awesome feedback and friends asking how I am and where I have been and I will always pop in and out and keep those relationships but the posting is my issue…
This is something that is so true for most of us – we live in a time where people share so much and so dang professionally but there is still my voice that wants to be heard that wants to try to make a difference about breast cancer and how it is a dirty rotten thief that comes out of nowhere …
I will continue always to blog but I am not sure what I will do with other social media – my blogs will not be consistent, they will flow when the moment pulls me. I know so many people are moving away from reading and into visual content, videos etc but to me, the written word is my favorite method of communicating so this is the only way I want to move forward, for now.
How do you calm your soul and let things go? Will you continue to read my posts and learn with me how to manage being a supermom post breast cancer, a wife, job seeker, nonprofit founder, small business owner, writer, etc… I am a definitely multiple personality person … lol
I am so excited to be published in the Winter 2019 edition of Cancer Health Magazine. This blog is serialized on Cancer Health here - originally my blog at thetimebetweenis.org/blog was serialized but then I became a nonprofit in Spring 2018 and wanted to focus that blog on the work we are doing to help cancer survivors get back to "normal" - or the "new" normal - and created this blog to be my musings, my confessions and my freak outs and of course my story of survival of trying to balance it all. I was so happy when Cancer Health was still interested in serializing my streams of consciousness and even more thrilled when they asked me to write the article for the issue about my work with survivorship.
When we are diagnosed with cancer and in treatment that everyone is there to help from the hospital to organizations to friends and family. As we move into "survivorship", there is a lack of resources available to help us get back into the swing of things. This article is just a sliver of what The Balance After Cancer Foundation focuses on but it is an important piece to the puzzle. Many cancer survivors, such as myself, lose their jobs during their illness and/or find they can no longer do what they did before or have to continue treatment for life for our stage 4 brothers and sisters do and this is also a part of survivorship. I spent over 20 years' helping people take the next step with my small business (aptly named The Next Step) and do find that work and dignity and life are all tied together.
Having a routine, something you LOVE to do, a passion, a plan is all so important to getting back to this "new normal". With free online courses, books, workbooks and more my foundation is something I am very proud of and hope to help many folks with as cancer is not as rare as you think it is - it is something that within a few years the estimate is over 50% of Americans will experience.
I also want to say that my goal is beyond work - some of my recent mentees had training about positive thinking, relationship building and more - all new initiatives we are piloting.
Keep in touch and let me know what you wish you had to help you with survivorship? Let me know in the comments or at Instagram or via email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Super Mom BC Eradicator - connect with me via the icons above :). Thanks! XOXO LISA (my secret identity ... )