Not sure if I will post this or not but I do need to let it out.
Lately, I have experienced and recognized people being just hateful - maybe because of jealousy or unhappiness in their lives or just plain old dislike of another person (in some cases, me).
I just do not get it. I try really hard to NOT get catty or nasty - as to me, these negative feelings only lead to bad things for me when I feel them. I do feel sometimes like I am being judged so harshly for my life choices and though I often make it roll off my back, sometimes it irks me.
Like, I get it that I do not have a conventional 9-5 job and that I am lucky enough to be around my house with my kids and doing my own thing with my nonprofit etc but that is a CHOICE I made and one that I do know I was blessed enough to make (note: it will necessitate us selling our house and living someplace cheaper to continue).
So why does it matter to someone else what I do or how I do it? Why do people have to be hateful? Yes, I know I am whining but the fact is that all of this negative energy people send my way is hurtful though I try to be a big girl about it and let it just roll off my back but it is annoying...
Sometimes my brain is just not quick enough to process things and people get annoyed - well, I am just as annoyed as they are at myself and I do not want pity but I am always trying to do the best I can.
I am so lucky to have my health and to be able to do what I DO do but I also know life is too short to waste it on pretending to be something I am not or to be a cookie cutter life - that just is not me. I cannot do it. I used to do it - I worked full time and was always doing more, more, more. I worked part time and did ever MORE - and now I am trying to just continue to heal.
You do not have to be my friend or be nice to me and I have to learn to really not let it bother me instead of just pretending it does not bother me and then getting all fired up inside when someone treats me weirdly, poorly or just stops speaking to me.
To those who love to complain or who cut me and treat me like I am contagious, I get it - I am weird, I am an other - someone who does not fit in with the groups - I am not your typical stay at home mom...
I am a cancer survivor, I am healed and continue to heal - my priority is in helping others who have experienced cancer and being the best mom/wife/etc I can be and that means making decisions about NOT being around toxicity so though you think you chose to stop talking to ME maybe just maybe it is that I decided to not invite your negativity into my soul anymore. I pray for you - I know your life must be tough, everyone's is - but of course there are different layers of tough.
To the one who told me I must appreciate my birthdays now - thanks, I know you did not mean to hat to rub me the wrong way, but it did. It just points out that I have to enjoy something more than you do because I am not normal and sometimes I do still want to be normal.
To the one who told me "I know you cannot wake up early in the morning..." - well, yes, on the weekends, my body needs sleep and I want to give in to that need that basic need of rest.
To the one who tells me she does not know how anyone could NOT work and be at home as that would make anyone crazy and insane - I feel that is so incorrect and just plain wrong on so many levels - even before I was sick I opted out of the full time workforce and worked part time to be with my kids - everyone has that choice and when you are a mom, it is hard so hard to leave your kids for work and I get you are hurting and I am sorry. But I am not insane for being home - I am actually working hard on projects AND healing AND taking care of my family the only way I know how. BUT even if I was not working on other things, being a caretaker of ones family is an honor and a privilege.
I guess there are always naysayers in your life - those who are there just to be the rub but I am not looking for sand in my bathing suit. I am so lucky and blessed for those in my life who get it who can support one another without being a mean girl. I have so many of them but the ones who try to bring people down are just so harsh and so hard to deal with so I have to learn to truly just pray for them and let it go.
How do you deal with people who are just mean or judgmental about your and your life choices?
Super Mom BC Eradicator - connect with me via the icons above :). Thanks! XOXO LISA (my secret identity ... )